These are some of my favorite quotes. I say some because I know that I've forgotten a lot of the quotes that I've liked. Anyway...I got them from life, web sites and books. A lot of them don't have sources...

• Sooner or later, doesn't everyone stop smoking?

• Eagles may soar, but weasles don't get sucked into jet engines.

• If an angel were to come to Earth, someone would be sure to shoot it.

• The differance between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.

• There is a statistical theory that states that if you place an infinate number of typewriters in front of an infinate number of monkeys, they'll eventually produce the works of Shakesphear. Thanks to the internet, we now know this is not true.
  ---Ian Hart

• Everyday spent above the ground is a good one.

• The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable.

• "Everyone's entitled to their wrong opinion."
  --- John Rzeznik

• "Seek and you shall find, and once found will wonder why you looked in the first place."

• "There are two ways to slide easily through life: to believe everything or to doubt everything. Both ways save us from thinking."
  ---Alfred Korzybski (1879-1950) American semanticist

• Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!

• "Reasonable people adapt themselves to the world. Unreasonable people attempt to adapt the world to themselves. All progress, therefore, depends on unreasonable people."
  --- George Bernard Shaw, on Progress

• "Your trust in rationality makes you irrational."

• "The hottest place in Hell is reserved for those... who remain neutral."

• "Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics."
  --- Fletcher Knebel

• A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.
  --- Oscar Wilde

• I won't let you beat me unfairly. I'll beat you unfairly first.
  --- Ender Wiggen

• God is watching, and so is our electric survailence system.
  --- the sign on the door way of this church in Kanata, Ontario, Canada

• Jesus loves you. Then again, so does Barney.

• "I don't question YOUR existence."
  --- God

• Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive, after all.

• I don't care WHO you are, you're not walking on the water while I'm fishing.

• Canadians aren't that religious. We beleive that Jesus walked on water, but we figure that it was probably winter.
  --- some comedian who's name I can't remember (and the quote is paraphrased a bit 'cause I can't remember the exact wording ^_^;)

• Why settle for the lesser of two evils?
  --- I think I got this off of a Star Wars site...

• I don't mind Jesus, it's his fan club I can't stand.

• God: Whew! I just created a 24-hour period of alternating light and darkness on Earth.
  Angel: What are you going to do now?
  God: I think I'll call it a day.

• I'm a fermata - hold me.

• Ending a sentence in a preposition is something up with which I will not put!
  --- Yoda's High School English teacher

• Hi,you have just dialed 911. Normally we would ask you to state the nature of the emergency, however we're all out at lunch. If you would like to leave your name, number and emergency, we will return your call as soon as we get back. If it is a very important emergency, just go outside and scream for help. That always works pretty good in the movies. Good Luck

• (to the tune of the Barney song)
  Hello there
  I'm not home
  Please leave a message after the beep
  And I'll get back to you as soon as I can
  Ha ha ha ha, I'm not home!
  --- me, my friend, and my friend's sister trying to be funny

• I'm a phsycic! I can tell that you don't beleive me!

• I brake for No Apparent Reason.

• I want to die in my sleep like grandpa, not terrified and screaming like his passengers.

• You are here. We are not.
  --- map of Area 51a (The Simpsons)

• Save the trees! Kill a beaver!

• Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man rich but socially dead.

  ---

  Take me HOME!

  Misc.