by Andrew Kwok

I have no idea who this Andrew Kwok person is (I got this list forwarded to me from a friend), but it's quite humourous--to me. It was so humourous, in fact, that I've taken the time to HTML it and add my own comments...ok, so maybe the fact that my web page it sort of lacking in content had something to do with it aswell. But it's still funny!

1. You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping (and especially those bows) next year.
I do! Kind of. My friend and I used to have this thing where we'd give each other gifts in gift bags that we'd previously gotten from the other person. It was so funny, 'cause we'd remember the gift bags! ("Hey! Didn't I give this to you for your birthday?)

2. You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off.
My Mom does. She actually bought a bunch that were in French once by accident--but they were damn nice Christmas cards!

3. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has moved out.
Toilet paper, no. Tissue paper, yes! We used to have this huge box in the basement that was filled with tissue paper boxes. But now we don't have a basement so...*shrugs*

4. You have a vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table.
Nope, though that would sure make it easier to get the cat fur off of the table before we eat! ^_^;

5. Your stove is covered with aluminum foil.
Does it count if I know old people who do?

6. Your kitchen has a sticky film of grease over it.
See above answer.

7. You have stuff in the freezer since the beginning of time.
Before the move--Oooohhhh YEAH! We had a bag of french fries that were so old, a layer of ice at least a centimeter thick covered each individual fry!

8. You use the dishwasher as a dish rack.
Hey...that's a pretty damn good idea! I'll have to remember it for when I'm a starving collage student and I live in a itty bitty little cube.

9. You have never used your dishwasher.
Heck, in my old house, I didn't even know I had a dishwasher until one day--about four years after I moved in to the house--my parents turned it on. And then I only knew it was there 'cause it was making a loud noise and emitting a weird, moldy smell...

10. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times.
My Grampa does...and he kept a coffee maker in his room to heat the water with. At least I think that's what the coffee maker was for...

11. You boil water and put it in the refrigerator.
Nope. Doesn't work. It sill tastes funny. *mutters* stupid California water...

12. You eat all meals in the kitchen.
I do in the summer!

13. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers.
OMG, YES! We used to have this cub-board filled with rolled-up grocery bags...

14. You use grocery bags to hold garbage.
*blinks* Well, what else are they good for?

15. You always leave your shoes at the door.
Yeah, but I have a carpetted floor so...*shrugs*

16. You have a piano in your living room.
Yes. Yes, I do.

17. Your parents know how to launch nasal and throat projectiles.
They've never done it in front of me...But they do other things to make up for the lack. Things that shall not be mentioned again.

18. You iron your own shirts.
I don't want to think of the carnage that would result from me having an iron. People who know me will agree that handing Beidy a potentially dangerous item like an iron is not a Good Idea.

19. You drive a Honda or Acura and are less than 5'8" tall.
No...I'm 15...I don't drive...and my parents own a Camery and a...a...*think* actually, I don't know what the other car is aside from a beige-ish gray. But they're both under 5'8.

20. You pick your teeth at the dinner table (but you cover your mouth).
Yeah...unless I'm at a resteraunt or at someone else's house...

21. You twirl your pen around your fingers.
Lol...Lordie, yes! You know, I've noticed that. I used to go to this Kumon thing (to get ahead or to catch up in math...it's hell), and all the correcters were Chinese. It was so funny how they'd just sit at the table, correcting papers, twirling away....*grins*. And not only do I twirl pens, I twirl rulers, chop sticks (hey, what else are you supposed to do whilst you wait for the food? Converse with your parents?!), exacto knives, scaples, paint brushes, lip chap-sticks...I'll twirl anything!

22. You hate to waste food
Yep
a. Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them. (Your mom will give a lecture about starving kids in Africa)
My Mom doesn't give me the Africa lecture and I still do it...unless it's some food I totally hate, that is. I usally don't have to, though; my Dad will finish everything off, even if he's totally full...
b. You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing.
Oh yeah...

23. You don't own any real Tupperware-only a cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, take out containers, and jam jars.
No...we have tupperware...

24. You also use the jam jars as drinking glasses.
Lol...I have a friend who does!

25. You've eaten a red bean Popsicle.
I don't doubt that I have...especially since I remember eating a milk popsicle...I generally don't doubt that I've eaten a lot of weird things, though I make it a habit to ask what the food is before I put in it my mouth. (The strangest answer I've ever gotten was "It's ants-on-a-stick"...o.O)

26. You bring oranges (or other produce) with you as a gift when you visit people's homes.
Well, I don't...my parents do, but I don't...unless we have a surpluss of some such produce, and my Mom wants to push it off on some of my friends. ^_^;

27. You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel.
Damn, I wish I did.

28. The condiments in your fridge are either Price Club sized or come in plastic packets, which you save/steal every time you get take out or go to McDonald's.
Ahh...no. (Not anymore...)

29. Ditto paper napkins.
Yeah...remember the huge-ass box of tissue paper? ^_^;

30. You wipe your plate and utensils before you eat every time you go to a restaurant.
Not unless I see flies buzzing around the kitchen door...

31. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes)...These travel snacks are always dried. As in not just dried plums, dried ginger, and beef/pork jerky, but dried cuttlefish (SQUID).
Nope.

32. You own a rice cooker.
I think we gave it to my Grampa.

33. You wash your rice at least 2-3 times before cooking it.
I don't think letteing Beidy mess with a pressure cooker is a good idea either...It'll probably go something like this: Beidy tries to cook rice; Beidy puts in too little water, makes rice burn; not only did Beidy make rice burn, but she turned the heat the the max and left it cooking/burning for two hours; house goes Boom-Boom. *nervous laughter* Ahhh...I'm gonna kill myself when I have to live alone...

34. You spit bones and other food scraps on the table. (That's why you need the vinyl tablecloth).
No...I spit bones and food scraps on stragitically placed junk mail.

35. Your parents vehemently refuse the sack of gold coin oranges that their guests just brought just to be courteous.
Yeah, they would...

36. You fight (literally) over who pays the dinner bill.
No...My parents share money, and I never have any one me.

37. Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself.
Between him and my Grampa, there's a pretty good chance one of them knows how...or they'll figure it out eventually.

38. You majored in something practical like engineering, medicine or law.
I don't doubt that I will...both my parents did, after all. ^_^;

39. When you go to a dance party, there are a wall of guys surrounding the dance floor trying to look cool.
When are there not?

40. You live with your parents and you are 30 years old (and they prefer it that way). Or if you're married and 30 years old, you live in the apartment next door to your parents, or at least in the same neighbourhood.
OK, seeing as how I'm 15...I don't think this really applies to me...

41. You don't use measuring cups.
I don't cook.

42. You feel like you've gotten a good deal if you didn't pay tax.
Considering that I used to live in Ontario, Canada, where the sales tax was 15% total...Actually, no. I feel like it's a good deal when it's half off and there's no tax and I get something free with it.

43. You beat eggs with chopsticks.
Well, what else are you supposed to beat then with? An egg-beater? (I'm aware that I've previously stated that I don't cook. Let me rephrase that. I only cook sanwiches, eggs, instant food, and stuff with the microwave. I've even cooked a potatoe in the microwave!)

44. You re-gift cookies or Christmas cake at Christmas (some could even be more than 5 yrs old).
*remembers the box of chocolate that sat for years in the basement, collecting duse* I don't doubt that my parents have...

45. You have a teacup with a cover on it.
Huh?

46. You reuse teabags.
Used to...

47. You have a drawer full of old pens, most of which don't write anymore.
I used to before the move...

48. If you're under age 20, you own a really expensive walkman. If you're over 20, you own a really expensive camera.
I wish I did...

49. You always look phone numbers up in the phone book, since calling Information costs 50 cents.
Lol...yeah...

50. You don't tip more than 10% at a restaurant, and if you do, you tip Chinese delivery guys/waiters more.
I don't think we've ever had dilivery...And I can count on one hand the number of times I've gone with my parents to a restaurant that wasn't fast food or Asian. (Though, considering the reliability of my memory...)

51. You're a wok user.
A what?

52. You only make long distance calls after 11pm.
Lol...no. I only call long distance to Ottawa, and if it's 11 at night here, it's two in the morning in Ottawa.

53. You know all the waiters at your favorite Chinese restaurants.
Not by name...though my Mom probably did.

54. You like Chinese films in their original undubbed versions a. You love Chinese Martial Arts films. b. Shao Lin and Wu Tang actually mean something to you.
No, no, and no. Though I do have fun watching films like Titantic or Batman that were dubbed over in Chinese...*grins*

55. You have acquired a taste for bittermelon.
I never will. I stay away from that stuff like it's the plauge.

56. You like congee with thousand year old eggs.
Nope.

57. You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached - it means they're fresh.
*blinks* There's any other tpye of shrimp?!

58. You never call your parents just to say hi.
Seeing as I live with my parents...Actually, for more than half a year my Mom and I lived in Ontario, Canada while my Dad lived in California and I never phoned just to say hi so I guess I can answer yes to this one.

59. You always cook too much.
Hehe...Actually, yeah, on the rare occasion that I actually do cook, I do tend to cook too much.

60. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.
I don't doubt they would...

61. Also, if you don't live at home, your parents always want you to come home.
No. I get the impression that my parents are going to throw me out the first oppertunity they get...

62. Your parents tell you to boil herbs and stay inside when you get sick.
They tell me to here-drink-this and go to sleep. Then I always have to take a long time drinking 'this' 'cause it's horrid stuff.

63. When you're sick, they also tell you not to eat fried foods or baked goods because they produce hot air(yeet hay in Cantonese).
I can't eat anything anyway when I'm sick so...*shrugs*

64. You e-mail your Chinese friends at work, even though you only sit 10 feet apart.
Lol...I don't doubt that I will eventually.

65. Your parents never go to the movies.
They go more than I do.

66. Your parents send money to their relatives in China.
*thinks* They might have. Yeah, my parents are more like "Hey, why don't you come over and live here for a while?" I've had, at one time or another, both Grampas, one Grandma, and an Aunt living with me and my parents.

67. You use a face cloth.
*blinks* Doesn't everyone?

68. Your parents use a clothes line.
They used to...but it was hung in the basement 'cause of the Canadian winter.

69. You're always late.
I'm always just-in-time.

70. You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the last piece of food on the table.
Lol...yeah. And I don't drink the last of the orange juice either, even if there's only 30 mL left.

71. You starve yourself before going to all you can eat buffet.
I do when I know ahead of time that I'm going...

72. You've joined a CD club at least once.
*nods* And a book club.

73. You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewelry or electronics, computers.
It's called black market--no, I'm kidding.

74. You never discuss your love life with your parents.
What love life?

75. Your parents are never happy with your grades!!
They've stopped caring a while ago...They still get angry at me for not showing them my report card until a month of two after I get it, though. (It's not that I get bad grades, it's that I keep on forgetting to give it to them.)

76. You save your old Coke bottle glasses even though you're never going to use them again.
I wish I had Coke bottle glasses!

77. You own your own meat cleaver and sharpen it.
Knives...*grins*...ahh..good knives...knives are your friend...*giggles*

78. You keep most of your money in a savings account.
Nope. I don't have money. I don't need it for anything.

79. You own an MJ set and possibly have a room set up in the basement.
Don't have a basement anymore...:(

80. You know what MJ means. [no, it's not Michael Jackson: It's Mahjong!]
Nope. I can speculate on what it is, though.

81. You've been on the Love Boat or know someone who has.
Love Boat?

82. Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin.
Yeah...I've even cut them open in the past to get more toothpaste out of them.

83. You say "whie" when answering your cell phone.
No, but I know people who do.

84. You are familiar with the term "aiee yah...".
Oh man am I...lol

85. You know what moon cakes are.
Yeah. They're really good...

86. You know why this list consists of only "88" reasons.
I wish I did...it's probably really funny...wait, 8's a lucky number, isn't it?

87. You enclose your remote controls in plastic to keep greasy fingerprints off them.
Hey, I should do that with my keyboard...

88. You take this message and forward it to all your Chinese friends.
What Chinese friends?

Hello? Is anyone still with me? Wow...now wasn't that long and pointless?

Misc.